Parody Rewrite

Link to annotated opinion column: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1D_tV7ec0-abvdsF4R599zgNhkOyPA1aZGQegDG160Io/edit?usp=sharing


Original Text:

Tijuana declares humanitarian crisis amid caravan arrival

Tijuana asks the world for help as thousands of migrants crowd the border town. President Trump was right to order troops to our border with Mexico to reinforce our overworked law enforcement officials and protect our sovereignty. For nearly 100 years, the U.S. Border Patrol has defended our boundary with Mexico against terrorism, drug trafficking and illegal immigration – three serious threats to U.S. security. The U.S. military and the Border Patrol have a history of working closely together. In 1989, President George H.W. Bush deployed U.S. military forces to the border to work in concert with the Border Patrol to strengthen our defenses against increasingly problematic infiltrators. Those who believe the president’s deployment of troops to the border was a political stunt ignore this history – and ignore the fact that both Republican and Democratic presidents have presided over U.S. military operations along the border. The reality is that every president and presidential candidate has promised to do something about illegal immigration and border security. Why does President Trump now receive criticism for securing our borders? Three reasons: First, whatever President Trump does, the left reflexively supports the opposing position. For example, when the president canceled the Iran nuclear deal, the left supported the Iranian mullahs who crack down on innocent protesters. When President Trump moved the U.S. Embassy in Israel from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem, the left supported Hamas terrorists who attacked Israel. And when the president called out illegal immigration, the left supported MS-13 gang members, who kill and rape U.S. citizens. Now, instead of supporting our Border Patrol and military, the left is supporting illegal immigration – along with drugs, crime and terrorists that invariably flow with that tide.


Satirical Text:
Tijuana asks humanitarian forces for help as migrants arrive at the border with the U.S. President Trump was obviously justified in sending troops to their border, because there aren’t already thousands of security cameras, barriers, ICE officials and state of the art technology to protect our sovereignty. Of course, Trump is justified in showing off his military toys to the rest of the world like a high school jock. For nearly a hundred years, the U.S Border Patrol has defended the boundary with Mexico that is being invaded with migrants that are fleeing atrocious living conditions that we created. In 1989, President George H.W Bush deployed U.S military forces deployed unnecessary U.S military forces to the border to work alongside Border Patrol as a show of force against infiltrators that dangerously want to enter our country to work hard in what already is known historically and international as the land of the immigrants. Those who believe the president’s deployment of troops to the border was a political stunt –drum roll– are completely right. Yes, both Democrats and Republicans have had a stance on immigration. However, Republicans disproportionately brainwash themselves into thinking that all immigrants are criminals whereas Democrats understand that our country is a country in need of immigrants. That’s what our nations is– a land of immigrants. So why does President Trump now receive criticism for securing the border? Three reasons: First, whatever mistake President Trump makes, the left reflexively calls it out. For example, when the president canceled the Iran nuclear deal, the left supported the Iranian mullahs that had been involved in concocting the plan that was meant to bring about peace and stability in Iranian-American diplomatic relations. When President Trump moved the U.S Embassy in Isreal to Jerusalem from Tel Aviv, the left supported the legitimate claims of the Palestinian government over East Jerusalem. And when the president condemned Latino immigration, the left supported the dignified, hard-working immigrants who are escaping violence in their home countries.  Now the right continues to support Border Patrol– along with clientelism, decay of American values and immorality.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Somatic Marker Theory

Image
The Somatic Marker Theory is a physiological hypothesis proposed by Antonion Damasio. He suggests that every experience we face stores what is called a somatic marker, which is kept in our memories. As a result, our body remembers how it reacted to specific scenarios and based upon both the emotions and physiological reactions to the aforesaid, it impacts our decision-making. This hypothesis is particularly true in situations in which our cognition and logic can not make a decision, and therefore, we rely on our emotions to reach make a choice. Damasio believes that emotions are physiological stimuli that occur when we are exposed to different situations. Those physiological stimuli are processed by the brain, which the brain then turns into an emotion that tells the individual how they should feel in response to those stimuli.  An example (as shown in the picture) can be food. When you eat really good chocolate cake, your physiological response comes from a mix of you...
Read more

Real Life Situation: "Are 'emoji' dumbing us down or enriching our communities?

First-Order Knowledge Claims -"Ghost balloon may have no intrinsic meaning" -"But as a whole, emoji are unmistakably Japanese" -"Purchases that reportedly rake in well over $3m each month" Second-Order Knowledge Claims -The fact that 'ghost balloon' may have no intrinsic meaning is based on a generalized assumption that that specific combination of emojis don't have a translation into verbal language, and therefore, have no deep-rooted meaning. (this leaves out the fact that those symbols could have inherent meaning in the form of an inside-joke to a specific group of people) -The knowledge that the emojis are Japanese is based on the shared knowledge of Japanese culture and the cultural traits (food, clothes, etc) that are associated with it. Knowledge Questions -To what extent can the simplification of language in a visual form continue to be valuable for communication?/ Can visual communication ever be as rich and communicative as...
Read more

A New Way to look at emotions

Lisa Feldman Barret's theory of how we perceive emotion comes through as highly-thought provoking, and to an extent, is implying a potential paradigm shift in how we understand what emotions are in their very essence. One of the first points presented is the idea that physiological stimuli can be used interchangeably to tell our body different emotions. However, the way those same stimuli are used to distinguish emotions rely on the context itself. What this puts into question is the true reliability of our emotions. If it comes to a point where the body is trying to express a feeling but the context does not lend itself to the interpretation what the body wants to achieve, this can lead to flawed decision-making. This puts into perspective how it is crucial to comprehend the possible unreliability of emotions– if the wrong context happens to coincide with the wrong physiological stimuli, the decision-making that is born from that union can have dangerous ramifications. This exa...
Read more